BRIC It

I think the BRICs are stupid. No, not the original term (Jim O’Neill, you are a genius on that one). Rather, it’s the fact that these countries actually accepted this designation and decided to create a functional group. That was idiotic. The foolishness continues with them asking South Africa to join. Jim-THE GOD OF THE EMERGING MARKET- O’Neill responds and lays the smackdown.

“When I created the acronym, I had not expected that a political club of the leaders of the BRIC countries would be formed as a result. In that regard, the purposes of the two might be regarded differently and more so after this news.”

What Jim O’Neill actually meant was “OMG BRICs, WTF?”
Besides Jim O’Neill being a genius and labeling these countries just because it was an awesome acronyms, they have virtually no similarities. I challenge anybody to make realistic comparison between 3 of them, let alone all 4. Sure, Brazil and Russia have commodities. China and India have a population. India and Russia have always been bad at foreign policy. Brazil and China…uhm, both countries cuisine contain a lot of beef. BRIC made sense in 2001. O’Neill needed something, anything to spark some excitement in the emerging market. He did that by coming up with an acronym that kills. He want the acronym to make him some money. HE DIDN’T ACTUALLY THINK THESE COUNTRIES WOULD ACCEPT IT. If BRIC is now a group, why not PIIGS? Hate to be the guy struck with the restaurant bill for that one.

As a consultant, I’m suppose to milk up these acronyms and ask for seconds. I thing is, I do. I love me some acronyms. BRIMCK anyone? These acronyms are great for generally conversations or for quick and dirty blog posts. They should be treated like the ecstasy of the financial/consultant world. Sure, use these bad boys at night or on the weekend but if you are chugging down these things during the day, you might have a problem. It’s one step away from cocaine and that’s when shit gets scary. Now this BRIC group is on the cocaine and they want some more partners in heavy drug use. Cue South Africa.

But there’s a broader problems to these types of groups. They all suck unless you are the one in charge of them. If I was in charge of a country (One day Patrick), I would refuse to join the BRIC group. Why? Because just like a high school clique, the judging and comparisons start as soon as you join. Who has a prettier industry policy? Does this GDP make me look large? If I trade my bunny of doom for an axe wielding scorpion, can I boost my tech industry? (No, you need a Unicorn of fire card to do that) In these types of groups, somebody always has to be the loser. Cough Russia, in the case of BRIC. Italy, in the case for most other groups. The Dutch will always be losers in life.

Sure, it’s cool to be part of the group but once you start letting in other countries, it’s not cool. Does anyone think China is letting in South Africa on merits alone? No, they are doing it for pure nefarious reasons. Continuing the high school analogy, China wants some action and South Africa has had one too many wine coolers.

The G7 was awesome and then Russia had one of its regular revolutions and we had to accept them. NATO was fucking gold; then it had to let in Poland. Great idea letting in a country that has been invaded hundreds of times. Russia won’t invade but HAS ANYONE THOUGHT ABOUT LITHUANIA? It’s Poland for god’s sake; a country that would collapse if a large herd of sheep accidentally crossed the border.

My country would join the G20 but stay in the back at the free bar. When I’m asked my opinion on an issue, I will always side with Canada

I’ll ignore the G8. Who the hell wants to spend all their time talking about poor people and how Russia is drinking too much near some nuclear weapons?

Until you get to join the OECD, where every country looks good in comparison to Italy, you will always be doomed. My advice to countries, take the Chile route. Join a few groups here and there. Stay out of danger. Do this and you will soon receive a phone call from Paris asking you to join the elite of the elite. Just make sure you are better than Italy.

Sasol, the world’s largest producer of motor fuels from coal, dates to the South African apartheid regime’s efforts to promote national self-sufficiency – using technology pioneered by Nazi Germany. http://blogs.ft.com/beyond-brics/2010/12/20/south-africas-sasol-looks-overseas-for-shale-gas/

Sasol, the world’s largest producer of motor fuels from coal, dates to the South African apartheid regime’s efforts to promote national self-sufficiency – using technology pioneered by Nazi Germany. http://blogs.ft.com/beyond-brics/2010/12/20/south-africas-sasol-looks-overseas-for-shale-gas/
I don’t know a thing about this company but I already feel they are evil and should be hated. If only they added the bit about their oil actually being used to make instruments to club baby seals

Now this is a watch

I expect to be nominated and to win. 

Somebody has given this ad far more attention than I have. 

Hate to break this to you Goldman but people do stop growing. YOUR METAPHOR DOESN’T WORK. Unless this 10 acre ranch is near some nuclear waste, I highly doubt this women will turn into a 7 foot super-giant. 

The murder was committed with a seashell, with the blood being wiped off with the loofah, at a casino shortly after the 10 of clubs was damaged by whiskey after the waitress tripped on a gold object which fell out of a red purse. 

But does it tell time?

Somebody has sold out. Who the bloody hell is he? 

Stoned penguin gravediggers. Top that